Tomorrow I got a big test. After I've looked through and taken the once i find important i have 14 disease and lots of keywords i need to learn. Ive been studying most of the day and done some cleaning. Now im going to injoy my tea, crips and a banana.

 

I got this little cute case today.

Not so long ago i made this english blog for my english friends. I write the same thing here as i do in my swedish blog.
My english isnt flawless, minor miss spellings here and there. But who cares really? I do the same spelling mistakes in english as i do in swedish. As long as my message gets through im happy. Last night i was lying in bed and i started to think about this. My own experience surounding teenagers today when they use english.

"My english is bad. Me so stupid"


I cant understand why people pick on themselves, Only because you have a problem with spelling or even learning a language doesnt mean that you are stupid. You can be the greatest in math but still have problems with spellings. Does that make you stupid?

We all have different skills and flaws and i think that somehow we all complement eachother in one way or another, One persons skill can be another persons flaws. And our flaws can become a skill with the help of another.
After ive done my contribution in english i always ask one of my friends to read it to see that i do get my point across. As long as i dont make mistakes that make whole sentences unable to understood i dont mind them.
Im not english and my english isnt flawless but im proud to have the guts to use it openly.

When i was younger and me and my parents went traveling abroad i always thought it was embarrassing to hear my parents speak english. and im sure alot of you have thought the same. but they dont back down. they use the english they can and they get their point across.
If you look at that generation and the older generation, their english isnt the best but they use it and they dont see any problems with it.
What is it that keeps our generation back then? Our knowledge in english are better then our parents but still we feel ashamed of our flaws. That we cant spell all words and not pronounc everything right.
Not even english people can spell everything!
You can make your point across and thats all that matters.
Go speak english people!

 

Went to the cinema with my brother today. We say The girl who plays with fire. I tried not to be so distubed by all the people around me. I dont like going to the movies since people eat and laughe. Really gets on my nervs.

I feel all empty after last night. I sat in the dark with music, a candle and some beer. After a while Michaela come over and we talked, deep talk and the feelings just flowed. You are my princess.

Around 22aclock Petrus came around and he noticed from the start that something was wrong but i convince both him and myself that everything was alright even tho everything was everything but alright.
My ex boyfriend told me a few times that i was never happy whatever he did. and maybe thats true. Maybe i'll never be pleased with what people do for me. My demands are so high so no one can live up to them. The night ended in big tears and chocolate balls

Now im home again and im listening to music. Empty and unable to feel anything right now.

 

Today have been one of the few full days at school. From 8:30 until 16:30
Im not used to having long days since i dont read all the classes that my classmates do. I rarely have a full day.
ive been quiet lonely at school. Because i dont read as much as my classmates they are in groups already and ive been on the side of that.
By my own choice. I have been to shy and not really been able to connect with anyone.
Yesterday on the swedish class i went out for a smoke and another girl from my class came out aswell.
We chatted abit and they got to the concluesion that we both lived in Sollefteå for a while. We got an opening in the conversation. After that we went inside and sat together in the classroom.
Later on a break we both meet outside again and talked some more. When we got inside again she started to talk towards the cafeteria. I usually go there but i followed and i sat down with the people who are in the same teacher group as im. After that i spent the whole day hanging out with these people and i like it alot!
its nice to have someone to talk to. Nice to be seen by people.
I still didnt eat at school. Its still something that i struggle with but im sure that will be better in time

Started snowing around lunch time so its almost completely white outside!

2009-10-09

I've been walking around in pain on and off the last two weeks and its starting to affect me badly. I'm tired, sour and grumpy all the time. I dont even want to know how many painkillers ive eaten these last weeks. this weekend i said that unless the pain diapperared today i would call my "midwife" Buuuut, the pain is still here visiting me and i havent called yet. I really hate making calls like these. I wait until the last minute to do calls.
They fill me with anxiety We had some lively discussions in my swedish class today,
We swedes, generally want to be good and strong. Dont want to ask anyone for help. If we ask for help we are weak. We dont want to bother anyone, but if anyone askes us for help. we dont mind. Would love to help this person in need They dont bother us. But for some reason we bother others when we need help? We also discussed the humans quest in life to find our soulmates.
How do we know when we have found the one? Will we ever find the one? We did read a text about what the old greeks say about soul mates and such. In the beginning we were born as two people. We were stuck in the back. Back to back we fought. And we fought good. But we could never see eachother.
Hear the others voice and feel the pressence, But never see or really touch. We plead to the gods to seperate us. We plead and beged until they listend and we were separated. They separated all people and everything became a big mess of people. In the crowd we lost our other half.
Still today we seek for that one and only person that is going to make us whole again

Im in bed right now and im so tired that im going to stay here for the rest of the night.
School tomorros 8:30-16:30